She’s six years old and she is a witness to the tragic death of her own mother. One year earlier, in self defense, her mother killed her dad. Who could possibly have foreseen that only a year later Mom would take her own life? This beautiful, little diamond was left in the rough with two dollars worth of candy with which to remember her deceased mother.
“My parents died in a car accident.” “They died when a plane fell.” “My mom was ill and passed away.” These were just a few of the stories that she would tell when asked about her parents. She was embarrassed. She had no real explanations. Her young mind was full of questions. “Why did she leave me?” “Why didn’t she take me with her?” “Why would she let me see that?” “Why didn’t she love me?” “What did I do?” “Where is God?”
Some things were clear to her as she matured. Mom was emotionally ill and in her mind she had no escape. There was no outlet available for her. Something stronger took a hold of her. Now as an adult she could understand that this was not an act against her, the little six years old girl. The vicious voices in her own head calling out for her to take her life as well caused her to understand that, in spite of it all, her mom did love her, “Mom just didn’t have the strength”.
Other things were not so clear at all. Where was God when this all happened? Why didn’t He stop her? Why did He allow her to leave me all alone? She tried religion, but religion taught her that her mother was in hell because she took her own life. So she hated religion and the God that would send her mother to hell. Relationships led her to other avenues and she tested them all. Still uncertain of the truth her memories take her back to that one moment. That special moment that no one can explain in logical terms to her.
She gave God “one last chance” to show Himself to her. Religion is not cutting it. Relationships come and go; Promises are broken; Truth is questionable. But that one moment will never leave her mind. The Holy Spirit of God really did show up. She was filled; she knew she was not alone. The moment was real, He was real! He IS real! He does know me; He does hear me; He does love me; He is with me. No one can take that from her. Like Paul on the way to Damascus, she saw Jesus and she will never be the same again.
Please comment below: Have you experienced any tragedies that you are grateful for?
"Diamond in the Rough" Poem Written By: Lady Melody